Wednesday, April 22, 2015
💔
Idk. I think I'm losing it already but no. I won't fucking give her up no fucking matter what. Yung dapat kong ikwento ngayon is nung naka isang oras ako sa car, nakatulog ako for 20 mins ata, nagising ako sa ring ng aking phone tapos nagulat din ako kasi umuulan kinana. Pagka bangon na pagka bangon ko, lumabas ako para kunin helmet ni tito na nakasabit sa kanyang motor edi malamang nabasa ako, inutusan din ako na isara yung likod ng pickup edi wala na talaga tiniis ko nalang. Pagka balik ko ng Car tas pagkastart ko, shet yung kanta.. I forgot the song pero masakit ngay talaga kaya hiniga ko nanaman, triny kong itulog ulit pero hindi ko na kaya. Pagka mulat ko nanaman ng eyes tangina ang ganda ng Sky. Mas dumagdag pa💔😞 so ayon. Wala, idk... Inisip ko ng inisp yung bago siya umalis. How she cried. Next is how much I miss her. Shet walang makak explain kung gaano ko siya kamiss. Alam mo yung napatingin ako sa right side (passengers seat) iniimagine na nakaupo siya doon pero wala. Nawala na yung Visions of her... Eto pa... Inisip ko nanaman.. Shet alam mo yung wala na akong niyayakap,etc. Parang di ako buhay kapag wala yun. Eto din naman... Minsanan nalang kami nagkikita sa Facetime... Nagaaway pa kami. I don't like that😞 Alam ko pagod na siya, napapagod din ako sa totoo lang pero ang alam ko, WALANG SUSUKO SA AMING DALAWA. Mahal na mahal ko siya so NO. I can't and won't do that. She's my life. She's everything that I fucking want. Kapag wala siya gago wala din ako, malamang inside..... 💔💔💔💔💔 Habang nasa car ako naluha nanaman ako. Ang sakit pa sa mata, alam mo yung dry na dry na mata mo tapos bigla nalang magtutubig.💔 Ilang weeks nalang.... Hindi ko akalain na kakayanin ko pala. Pero yun nga, kayanin mo para sa mahal mo.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
6TH MONTH
Hey Beautiful! Happy 6th to the both of us! I love you so fucking much if only you knew HOW MUCH that is... Okay, here it goes... March was soooo damn tiring to be honest hahaha! But was it all worth it? YES IT WAS. Preparing for uhh ano na yun? Tribute ba yun? Yeah that was fun! Practice and shit... and then Tribute came.... Haha napaka aga sa school kasi ayokong malate... One time.... I followed or sinamahan ko yata si Kaye sa taas... then pagka baba ko sakto pagpasok na pagpasok ko sa Classroom, Uno was standing and you were both sitting kinda close to eachother then napa nganga at napatigil lakad ko, then nilabas ako ni Pat tapos sabi niya ata aww okay lang yan... Pero syempre nag selos ako at nasaktan pero hinayaan ko nalungz... but the thing was, you saw me, looked at me then looked away... edi sumabay nalang ako sa pag labas saakin ni Pat para di ko na makita pero sabi ko, okay lang yan Ainna.. huwag nalang muna, umiwas ka nalang sa gulo haha hintayin mo nalang dumating sina Jorj makitawa ka nalang sakanila... Then yooooonnnn. Dancing n shitt like that.... Tapos yun na yung Random na..... Naglakas ako ng loob para magpaalam kay Ma'am Dona at Eva na kung pwede mag play ng 10minutes na prinepare ko.. Then sinabi ko din yun kay Ma'am Cristy, and she said yes so I was so damn happy. Here's the plan, sa unang kanta, si Ben ang sasayaw kay Mj, Next si Mk, next si Pat then ako na... but it didn't happen... It was too...... "O.o was disappointed with myself because what the fuck... and mejj nahurt ako because at first she KIND OF rejected me pero tumayo din siya hahaha so okay lang xD (takes a deep breath) Tapos yoooooon nung nag walk out ako umupo ako doon sa may GREAT WALL ng school. Tapos sinundan ako ni Giselle, kausap ko si Gsl ng masinsinan sabi niya bakit, tas sabi ko wala... then sumingit bigla si Thea ampota, sabi niya bigla habang nag uusap kami ni Gsl kung baga na interrupt sa question ni Thea, AINNA PWEDE DAW BA SIYANG ISAYAW NUNG GUY? Then sheeeeet as in na cut yung sinasabi ko kay Giselle dahil dun tapos nag tinginan kami ni Gsl and she just laughed at me, ang tagal kong naka nganga...... her hand was even on my shoulder... then sinilip ko siya ng konti and idk... I was confused and Gsl told me, Oo yan bro last naman na... then I was like, sige na nga last naman na (in my head) then sabi ko kay Thea sige sabihin mo oo. Pero syempre nandun parin yung sakit malamang! Haha pero sabi nga ni Gsl, LAST na daw... Tapos yooon, nalaman ko nanjan na sa labas si Mama. Pumasok ako sa office ni Ma'am Eva because nandoon mga gamit ko, I packed everything up and I saw her coming up to me. Then she asked me why, what is it again... then I told her nothing... Pero sa huli sabi ko, btw nag oo ako kay Thea about what she asked... sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung sinong nag paalam nun at pinasabi kay Thea?!?! Like bakit hindi nalang ako dineretso pero inisip ko din, Ainna, atleast nag-paalam diba? Tapos yun, balak ko ng umalis ng walang paalam sa kahit sino that time pero sabi ko, hindi ko siya pwedeng iwanan... nag-open up ako kay Omer nanaman HAHAHAHA Pati kay Ben, mk pat... lj... THEN ALL THEY SAID TO ME WAS AWWWWWWWWW OKAY LAN YAN!!!!!! Hahahahahahahaha! Tas yooon! Continue? Yeah, I stayed for her kasi ayoko ng gulo... Nagka gulo na kay Clavio Kyle Kaye ayoko nang dumagdag haha. Tapos yooon dismissal na finally! Nauna ako kasi magkasunod lang yung cars... Went home safe and sound tapos yun laaaaaaang.
Next? Hmm idk what's next... exams? uhh compilations! Haha! I wanna fucking thank you for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the damn things you've done for me and my grade para umasenso... You know baby, there are tons of reasons why we shouldn't/can't be together but damn I can't help it because I love you too much already... Idk why ang tagal na pala ng nararamdaman ko sayo pero late nang nailabas... maybe it's because I just didn't want to invade something I shouldn't be in but damn! We're here now baby! SIX FUCKING MONTHS OF BEING TOGETHER AFTER ALL THESE FIGHTS! Kinda proud of myself you kno? Medyo mabilis ako magsawa pero sayo, no. I can't even get enough of you baby! It's like I already want to spend my whole life with you.. and without you? I wouldn't know what to do with my life, making right decisions and stuff like that, you showed me things that I didn't know about myself... You're that one person who made me stop all the shit that was getting in my way... It's like you cleared it all and showed me the right damn path to a so called Real Life. I don't even know how to re-pay all of the things you've done for me... Mostly material things because that cost you a lot of fucking money! Kapag material naman kasi irerepay ko parang.. saka ko lang mababayaran kapag may trabaho na ako and shit like that... pero sana nga tumagal tayo... and gusto ko, mutual parin... yung hindi yung one sided love </3 :T But nah! Let's look at the bright side!
Oh! Here's something, did you know that... I cry everytime I think of you leaving or breaking up with me or kapag hindi kita nakita or nakausap basta mga ganun na times maslalo na kapag nag-aaway tayo... I don't know if you see how much I don't wanna lose you... I'm sick and tired of losing people to be honest, they all left... pero shet may isang nagsabi... "Edi wow ainna, lahat ng pinili niya umalis pero ikaw nanjan ka parin hinihintay siya" There we gooooo! If we do breakup but hopefully not, even if I have to move on.. I think I can't... and I don't want to... It's gonna be hard for me to do that... kahit may mangyari or naging numb nanaman ako pag gising ko, wala akong pakialam basta naka lagay sa utak ko na minahal ko si Mary Jayne Lim... and yes I didn't think I'd get her but look at us now...... SHET! Haha! Kalahati na!
But you know what hurts right now baby? It's the though of you leaving for Taiwan for 6 weeks... nung una hindi ako naniwala and ayokong paniwalaan yun pero sure na eh, sure na sure na. Wala na akong magawa kung hindi tanggapin and I can't stop that din naman and you need a vacation from all the shit that happened in school and kung saan man. Pero shet ha wow ha! Mag-aaral ulit kayo like wtf HAHAHAHAHAH! MATINDING MGA UTAK POTA xD Naalala ko may one time eh, 12 na nun or 2 and I was still thinking of you. Bigla akong naluha sabi ko sa sarili ko, paano kapag hiniwalayan ako neto anong mangyayari sa buhay ko ganito ganyan. Aasenso pa ba ako? NO. Baka nga mabaliw pa ako kapag ngyare yun eh pero sana nga HINDI diba? Kasi ngayon palang na iniimagine hindi ko na ma-kaya.
Going back to Taiwan... Dalawang araw nalang or sabihin na nating isa? because ang natitira nalang sa Monday is HOURS and it hurts like a bitch <//3 alam mo yun? Last na mahahawakan ko kamay mo, your hair... etc. Let's not talk about green stuffs rn because all I could think of is you and I know baby you're disappointed na wala ako bukas eh 5... tapos hindi nanaman tayo magkikita sa May 5... If it's hard for you well then it's even HARDER for me to deal with it... and now you're crying again and it's going to be soooo hard for me to sleep again... baby you know I hate seeing you cry but I won't stop you from it because I know how you feel. Ayan nanaman gago I fucking hate myself again...
Baby I DON'T fucking care kung masmahaba man yung sinulat mo or if ever may sinulat ka man, basta naipakita ko kung gaano kita kamahal at gaano kita ka-ayaw mawala sa buhay ko.. hindi naman nasusukat yun sa length ng message eh... nasusukat yan sa words and actions but mostly actions and alam kong kinukulang ako sa actions which I HATE the most about myself like what the fuck am I doing right? Alam ko minsan bby iniisip mo na hindi ko alam na kinukulang ako sa mga actions, well alam ko yun from the start... tignan mo nalang nga oh, nung 4am diba hindi ko sinabi... tapos pina tanga pa kita nun... tska isa pa, sinong nagsabi/nagconfirm na gusto talaga kita? Diba si Sammy at Giselle when in reality it was SUPPOSED to be ME who told you pero hindi ko kinaya. Dyan ako mahina bby, sa actions and lahat ng tao nagiging maganda ang impression dun sa tao dahil sa mga actions eh ako ngay? Gago hanggang salita lang ano ngay daw mapapala ko? Parang ngayon, sinasabi ko kung gaano kita kamahal pero napapafeel ko ba yung as in? and I know you're not happy with it... :< I'm not too.
Think I forgot? No. Baby, I'm truly sorry for all the mistake I've done and yeah they say people make mistakes pero ako paulit ulit na eh at tuloy tuloy na, to the point na you're slipping na but ofcourse I'm gonna thank you for still sticking with me no matter what. Naalala mo yung mga pinagsususulat natin sa Filipino book? yun pa yung Early October shet. I love you no matter what tapos yung isa I love you no matter what shit comes in the way ba yun? and yung mga times na sa holding hands pko kinikilig ng sobra yung hindi nko maka hinga dahil lang doon... I miss that tho. Pero nung hindi pa tayo? Alam mo ba? Makita lang kita hindi na ako makahinga sa totoo lang... yung bigla ka nalang papasok ng classroom or kung papasok ako ng classroom ikaw agad... shet haha those mini heart attacks. I still get that tho, pero mostly kapag nag-aaway tayo syempre, kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako katakot sayo bullshet... I'm sorry baby for disappointing you twice or thrice a week. Hindi na natigil.. I know I know :< and I'm sorry for that.. gusto ko umalis ka na masaya ka tapos bumalik ka dito saakin ng masaya din <3 <3 <3 INGAT KA DOON BBY HA? INGATAN MO SARILI MOOOOOOOO! ALAGAAN MO SARILI MOOOOOOO! HUWAG MONG PABAYAAN SI MJ TSKA SI JM! OKAY? OKAY! <3 BALIK KA AGAD HA? MABILIS LANG YAN! KUNG MAY MA MEET KA DOON SA TAIWAN SABIHIN MO FUCK OFF, SOMEONE OWN'S MY ASS ALREADY. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH DIBA! HANGTARRRRRAY! PERO INGAT PARIN HA? KAPAG LALABAS KA GUSTO KO LAGI KANG MAY KASAMA OR MAGKAKASAMA DAPAT KAYONG LAHAT! HINDI YUNG IKAW LANG, OKAY? OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALMOST FORGOT! KAPAG MAY BRACE NA AKO PIPICTURAN KO AGAD TAPOS ISESEND KO SAYO, GOT IT? PARA IKAW PIIIIIIIIIIIIINAKA FIIIIRST IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT! <3 <12345
Anyways.... I LOVE YOU MARY JAYNE LIM...N......... AHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
I'M GONNA MISS YOU FUCKING MUCH BABY!!! BALIK KA SAAKIN HA? HIHINTAYIN KITA MAHAL! <3 :* HAPPY 6TH TO US! CHEEEEEEERS! JOKE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LAVYOO BEIGHBEGH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! <3 <3 <3 <3 SMILE NA PO!!!!!!!!!! ILABYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next? Hmm idk what's next... exams? uhh compilations! Haha! I wanna fucking thank you for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the damn things you've done for me and my grade para umasenso... You know baby, there are tons of reasons why we shouldn't/can't be together but damn I can't help it because I love you too much already... Idk why ang tagal na pala ng nararamdaman ko sayo pero late nang nailabas... maybe it's because I just didn't want to invade something I shouldn't be in but damn! We're here now baby! SIX FUCKING MONTHS OF BEING TOGETHER AFTER ALL THESE FIGHTS! Kinda proud of myself you kno? Medyo mabilis ako magsawa pero sayo, no. I can't even get enough of you baby! It's like I already want to spend my whole life with you.. and without you? I wouldn't know what to do with my life, making right decisions and stuff like that, you showed me things that I didn't know about myself... You're that one person who made me stop all the shit that was getting in my way... It's like you cleared it all and showed me the right damn path to a so called Real Life. I don't even know how to re-pay all of the things you've done for me... Mostly material things because that cost you a lot of fucking money! Kapag material naman kasi irerepay ko parang.. saka ko lang mababayaran kapag may trabaho na ako and shit like that... pero sana nga tumagal tayo... and gusto ko, mutual parin... yung hindi yung one sided love </3 :T But nah! Let's look at the bright side!
Oh! Here's something, did you know that... I cry everytime I think of you leaving or breaking up with me or kapag hindi kita nakita or nakausap basta mga ganun na times maslalo na kapag nag-aaway tayo... I don't know if you see how much I don't wanna lose you... I'm sick and tired of losing people to be honest, they all left... pero shet may isang nagsabi... "Edi wow ainna, lahat ng pinili niya umalis pero ikaw nanjan ka parin hinihintay siya" There we gooooo! If we do breakup but hopefully not, even if I have to move on.. I think I can't... and I don't want to... It's gonna be hard for me to do that... kahit may mangyari or naging numb nanaman ako pag gising ko, wala akong pakialam basta naka lagay sa utak ko na minahal ko si Mary Jayne Lim... and yes I didn't think I'd get her but look at us now...... SHET! Haha! Kalahati na!
But you know what hurts right now baby? It's the though of you leaving for Taiwan for 6 weeks... nung una hindi ako naniwala and ayokong paniwalaan yun pero sure na eh, sure na sure na. Wala na akong magawa kung hindi tanggapin and I can't stop that din naman and you need a vacation from all the shit that happened in school and kung saan man. Pero shet ha wow ha! Mag-aaral ulit kayo like wtf HAHAHAHAHAH! MATINDING MGA UTAK POTA xD Naalala ko may one time eh, 12 na nun or 2 and I was still thinking of you. Bigla akong naluha sabi ko sa sarili ko, paano kapag hiniwalayan ako neto anong mangyayari sa buhay ko ganito ganyan. Aasenso pa ba ako? NO. Baka nga mabaliw pa ako kapag ngyare yun eh pero sana nga HINDI diba? Kasi ngayon palang na iniimagine hindi ko na ma-kaya.
Going back to Taiwan... Dalawang araw nalang or sabihin na nating isa? because ang natitira nalang sa Monday is HOURS and it hurts like a bitch <//3 alam mo yun? Last na mahahawakan ko kamay mo, your hair... etc. Let's not talk about green stuffs rn because all I could think of is you and I know baby you're disappointed na wala ako bukas eh 5... tapos hindi nanaman tayo magkikita sa May 5... If it's hard for you well then it's even HARDER for me to deal with it... and now you're crying again and it's going to be soooo hard for me to sleep again... baby you know I hate seeing you cry but I won't stop you from it because I know how you feel. Ayan nanaman gago I fucking hate myself again...
Baby I DON'T fucking care kung masmahaba man yung sinulat mo or if ever may sinulat ka man, basta naipakita ko kung gaano kita kamahal at gaano kita ka-ayaw mawala sa buhay ko.. hindi naman nasusukat yun sa length ng message eh... nasusukat yan sa words and actions but mostly actions and alam kong kinukulang ako sa actions which I HATE the most about myself like what the fuck am I doing right? Alam ko minsan bby iniisip mo na hindi ko alam na kinukulang ako sa mga actions, well alam ko yun from the start... tignan mo nalang nga oh, nung 4am diba hindi ko sinabi... tapos pina tanga pa kita nun... tska isa pa, sinong nagsabi/nagconfirm na gusto talaga kita? Diba si Sammy at Giselle when in reality it was SUPPOSED to be ME who told you pero hindi ko kinaya. Dyan ako mahina bby, sa actions and lahat ng tao nagiging maganda ang impression dun sa tao dahil sa mga actions eh ako ngay? Gago hanggang salita lang ano ngay daw mapapala ko? Parang ngayon, sinasabi ko kung gaano kita kamahal pero napapafeel ko ba yung as in? and I know you're not happy with it... :< I'm not too.
Think I forgot? No. Baby, I'm truly sorry for all the mistake I've done and yeah they say people make mistakes pero ako paulit ulit na eh at tuloy tuloy na, to the point na you're slipping na but ofcourse I'm gonna thank you for still sticking with me no matter what. Naalala mo yung mga pinagsususulat natin sa Filipino book? yun pa yung Early October shet. I love you no matter what tapos yung isa I love you no matter what shit comes in the way ba yun? and yung mga times na sa holding hands pko kinikilig ng sobra yung hindi nko maka hinga dahil lang doon... I miss that tho. Pero nung hindi pa tayo? Alam mo ba? Makita lang kita hindi na ako makahinga sa totoo lang... yung bigla ka nalang papasok ng classroom or kung papasok ako ng classroom ikaw agad... shet haha those mini heart attacks. I still get that tho, pero mostly kapag nag-aaway tayo syempre, kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako katakot sayo bullshet... I'm sorry baby for disappointing you twice or thrice a week. Hindi na natigil.. I know I know :< and I'm sorry for that.. gusto ko umalis ka na masaya ka tapos bumalik ka dito saakin ng masaya din <3 <3 <3 INGAT KA DOON BBY HA? INGATAN MO SARILI MOOOOOOOO! ALAGAAN MO SARILI MOOOOOOO! HUWAG MONG PABAYAAN SI MJ TSKA SI JM! OKAY? OKAY! <3 BALIK KA AGAD HA? MABILIS LANG YAN! KUNG MAY MA MEET KA DOON SA TAIWAN SABIHIN MO FUCK OFF, SOMEONE OWN'S MY ASS ALREADY. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH DIBA! HANGTARRRRRAY! PERO INGAT PARIN HA? KAPAG LALABAS KA GUSTO KO LAGI KANG MAY KASAMA OR MAGKAKASAMA DAPAT KAYONG LAHAT! HINDI YUNG IKAW LANG, OKAY? OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALMOST FORGOT! KAPAG MAY BRACE NA AKO PIPICTURAN KO AGAD TAPOS ISESEND KO SAYO, GOT IT? PARA IKAW PIIIIIIIIIIIIINAKA FIIIIRST IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT! <3 <12345
Anyways.... I LOVE YOU MARY JAYNE LIM...N......... AHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
I'M GONNA MISS YOU FUCKING MUCH BABY!!! BALIK KA SAAKIN HA? HIHINTAYIN KITA MAHAL! <3 :* HAPPY 6TH TO US! CHEEEEEEERS! JOKE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LAVYOO BEIGHBEGH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! <3 <3 <3 <3 SMILE NA PO!!!!!!!!!! ILABYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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